Let the vampires rest in peace

The vampires have gone too far.

There’s a Super Bowl television spot that’s sticking in my craw. It’s the one Audi did promoting their super-bright headlights. Here’s what concerns me. We’re being completely overrun by vampires. Not literally, but certainly creatively. Look, I’m sure the Twilight groupies will be upset with me. But I think someone should put a stake in the heart of all the vampire stuff for a while. Let’s give the vampires a slice of the eternal rest that they’ve earned. We’ve run them ragged in this century. Unlike the Bela Lugosi archetype that set the standard for many decades, today’s vampires are impossibly good looking, stylish and usually inexplicably wealthy. Oh and they speak with perfect diction - no more Transylvanian accent. Fellow marketing people, we can do better. There are still plenty of very fertile character types that are just waiting to be dusted off and used again. Feel free to clip the list and post it on your office wall. Since I generated the list, some characters have become overused - it happens that fast. The good news is there's still a lot to work with.

Partial List of Approved Cliché Characters 

Aliens                        

Cowboys

The Dutch (no wooden shoes please)

Scandinavians (except chefs) 

Door-to-door Salesmen

Redheaded Children (avoid the obese... very touchy)

Dumb Athletes (men only)

Smart Athletes

Accountants

Rock Stars

Soccer Moms

Twins

The Very Buxom

Southerners

Northerners

West Coasters

East Coasters

Inept Husbands

Ninja Seniors

Super Intelligent Dogs

Super Intelligent Cats

Talking babies

Anything New Jersey

Buxom Twins

Clichés will always have a place in advertising because of their immediacy and universal nature. But once a cliché becomes overused, it ceases to grab our attention. At that point, you might as well be selling pet rocks. So mix in a ninja senior once in awhile… if you’ve got the gumption, go for the redheaded child. Sure they’re temperamental, but man do they move product.